Lists, we allScream for iPhone

19 Things You Won’t Be Able to Do While Unlocking Your iPhone 5S

  1. Give a thumbs up.
  2. Hitchhike.
  3. Count to three in Sign Language.
  4. Declare a thumb war.
  5. Give a high “five.”
  6. Operate a jetpack.
  7. Self-administer morphine.
  8. Steal a baby’s nose.
  9. Eat olives off your fingers like a child king.
  10. Insult an Iranian.
  11. Condemn a Proto-Christian to death.
  12. Display knowledge of awkward situations and turtle anatomy.
  13. Be Jack Horner.
  14. End a used car commercial.
  15. Rub it in non-primates’ faces.
  16. Land any joke that ends with an emphatic “THIS GUY.”
  17. Save the Netherlands from flooding.
  18. Achieve success as a television film critic in the late 1980s and early 1990s.
  19. Live a full and happy life free from the psychosocial fetters of modern technology.
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