Other Places There's a Willie, True Recap

“Radioactive” True Blood Season 6 Episode 10 Recap

Anti-climax, Nordic penis, and an unnecessary time-jump.

Tube Top Television

Well, that was a trainwreck…True Blood’s sixth season finale is downright terrible and no amount of unnecessary six-month time jumps, fairy vampire maypoles, or full frontal nudity can save it.  And this season was doing so well, what with my beloved Sarah Newlin and the zany antics of Fangtanamo… But no, True Blood had to go and screw the were-pooch, leaving us with the most anticlimactic 51 minutes I’ve spent since watching the finale of Big Brother UK yesterday (WE ALL KNEW SAM THE DEAF WELSHMAN WAS GOING TO WIN, DIDN’T WE, AMERICA?!?!).

Let’s just get this over with.

Sookie is thinking deeply about life and death as Terry gets buried and for some reason, Alcide, very large and homeless-looking, is there consoling her. Sookie still doesn’t know where Jason is but she knows he’s a survivor; he’ll get by. Just as Alcide tries to say something deep and…

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Other Places There's a Willie, True Recap

“Who Are You, Really?”: True Blood Season 6 Episode 1 Recap

I’m officially recapping season 6 of True Blood over at Tube Top Television. If you’ve missed the nonsensical plot points (re: Vampire Bible) and Sookie’s gap teeth as much I have, check it out.

Tube Top Television

Oh, True Blood. You silly, silly goose.

True Blood’s that person you knew in college who seemed normal at first but then turned out to be real crazy and you were really glad you didn’t have to keep running into her after graduation and it’s been a while so now you just remember her as quirky but then you run into her and instantly it all comes flooding back and there’s a naked bloody vampire goddess and she hasn’t changed at all and maybe she got even crazier and it’s awful and you hate yourself but you can’t stop watching. Which is to say that I love True Blood, but I hate myself for loving it and also I hate True Blood. I haven’t had this complicated of a relationship with something since I still don’t know why my college girlfriend broke up with me but look directly above for…

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