Other Places There's a Willie, True Recap

“In the Evening:” True Blood Recap Season 6 Episode 7

THE PUSTULES HAVE FORMED.

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True Blood is a crazy show. There are vampire-fairy-immortals, casual beheadings, and wall-to-wall merkins. The show operates on Crazy Level 11 so when an episode is only at Crazy Level 8, it’s still downright ridiculous compared to every other show on TV but, as a True Blood episode, it’s disappointing. This week is one of those episodes. Not even the world’s worst 17th century vampire/plague flashback can save it. But hey, just cuz the Titanic hit one bad iceberg didn’t mean the whole boat gave up on its journey and went back to England, right? Right.

Let’s begin. In Fangtanomo, Eric, Nora, and Willa are still in disguise and still on the run. It’s not long before someone finds the armless, lifeless guard they left behind and hits the alarm though. Nora is getting worse and worse as the Hepatitis V makes its way through her scary, purple…

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Other Places There's a Willie, True Recap

“Don’t You Feel Me?” True Blood Recap Season 6 Episode 6

“I CAN’T WAIT ANY LONGER, TAKAHASHI!”

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Like my relationship with True Blood, much of this episode exists in a shiny, comatose fairy-dream-world secluded from human society. Like my relationship with the CVS down the street, much of this episode is about taking (Extra)care(bucks) of the ones we love. Also, the writers realize they should start killing characters to make up for the 137 they added in the first three episodes and there is nothing I love more than a good TV death. Can I get an amen?

We open on possessed Lafayette baptize-drowning Sookie in a river. But just as everyone’s favorite Southern waitress that Anna Paquin plays on an HBO show called True Blood is about to drown, Warlow runs in and saves her. He then fairy-blasts Sookie’s dad out of Lafayette, Daddy starts bawling, and Sookie White-Fangs her old man: “Go on! Git!” What a boring pre-credits sequence. All I got from it…

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Other Places There's a Willie, True Recap

“Fuck the Pain Away:” True Blood Season 6 Episode 5 Recap

In which I wax poetic about the F word.

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Don’t worry, we haven’t forgotten about True Blood; I was just on vacation in Spain where table wine is cheaper than water and “Black from the Waist Down” is a real song. Thanks to OffToTheGraces for covering Episode 3, fairy CGI and all. As for Episode 4, here’s all you need to know: Ben is Warlow and also the brother from Pacific Rim which was mediocre but I kept the 3D glasses so overall a win.

But on to True Blood: as you can tell from this episode’s classy title, the name of the game is Pain. The name of the drinking game is Fuck. It’s the third word of the episode and from then on, the writers just sort of toss it in there every 30 seconds regardless of context, tone, or syntax. At one point, The Governor says Fuck You four times in one sentence and…

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