Modern American Poetry, Step-Mother Goose

Nursery Rhymes for Today’s Children

The itsy bitsy spider crawled up the waterspout.
Down came the rain and washed the spider out.
Out came the sun and dried up all the rain.
And the heat death of the universe is inevitable.

Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb,
Mary had a little lamb who was kept in an 8×10 steel cage with 100 other little lambs and force-fed through a tube because Mary runs a factory farm.

Three men in a tub,
Which apparently is ok now.
Thanks, Obama.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe,
Catch a tiger by the toe,
But just know that if you do that,
You’re contributing to the extinction of a majestic species.

Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick,
Jack hasn’t seen his family in eleven years because he’s a Chinese Olympic hopeful.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
“Who are you? Get away from me. I don’t have any money.”

Pop goes the weasel,
Another casualty of the inevitable heat death of the universe.


One thought on “Nursery Rhymes for Today’s Children

  1. Pingback: A Demon a Day Keeps the Doctor Away | where there's a willie

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