Lou Bega, Probably Lyrics

Mambos No. 1, 2, 3, & 4

Found in Lou Bega’s Fort Lauderdale residence upon its recent foreclosure.

Mambo No. 1 (Lou Bega, June 1997)

Ladies and gentlemen, this is mambo number one!

One, two, three four, five, that’s how many kids Monica and I are gonna have so come on let’s ride!

The whole amount of Monica’s who I need

The whole amount of Monica all for me

The whole amount of Monica is my gal

The whole amount of Monica’s magiCAL

The whole amount of Monica’s love is true

The whole amount of Monica I WUB YOU

The whole amount of Monica in my life

The whole amount of me wants you as wife

Mambo No. 2 (July 1997)

Ladies and gentlemen, this is mambo number two!

One, two, three four, five, none of those are the numbers of people who love me so come on let’s ride.

No amount of Monica in my life

No amount of Monica is my wife

A little bit of Steven got in her

A little bit of Harold got in her

A little bit of Chris P. got in her

A little bit of Harold got in her again

Yeah, the whole amount of Monica cheated on me

The whole amount of you makes you a DIRTY WHORE MONICA HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING

Mambo No. 3 (November 1997; found on a very tattered Spearmint Rhino napkin)

Harpy [sic] women and gent[lemen], I hav[e] for you a ma[m]bo numero three!!!

One two 3 4 5, eve[rybo]dy at this gentlemens club just here’s a doller [sic] SO COME ON LET’S RIDE!!![!!!!!]

The who[le amo]unt of Monica she’s  the worse

The worseeeeee worse than […] cheese Danish […] hate herrr

A little [bit of ]Steven weren’t we friends

A little bit of not anymore, Ste[ven] something that rymes [sic] with friends

No amount o[f] you think Im no[t go]od enough MoniCa? Huh?

I’m Lo[u Be]ga I have a fedora whaddyou have Ste[ve]

[…] GMC Sierra […] really [..] OK […]

IOU $42.75 Cr[ap]-Eyes Larry

Mambo No. 4 (April 1998)

Ladies and gentlemen, this is mambo number four!

One, two, three, four, five, I’m  like totally fine now, Monica, so come on let’s ride.

The whole amount of over you’s what I am

The whole amount of not bitter’s also what I am

No amount of all the time do I miss you

No amount of every night do I call you

And the whole amount of other girls can I get

The whole amount of other girls WILL I get

A little bit of mambo five’ll be bout you

But a lotta bit of mambo five makes me look like such a G with all these girls I bet you’re jealous but I totally don’t care if you are I totally don’t Monica

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