Advice, Just the Tips

Fifteen secret pleasure spots that are sure to make him say wow

Have you been wishing lately that your man had more mojo than no-no? More raging bull than bull that just sort of walks around really calm? You are not alone. If you and your boo have lost that sexy love monster that made you go bump in the night, then maybe you need to ramp up your foreplay from fore to eight.

What better way to reach his softer side than to awaken his most secret soft spots, those little-known erogenous zones you can’t even find in a biology book? Here is a list of your man’s all-time favorite secret pleasure spots guaranteed to drive him Mary-Todd-level crazy.

Continue reading

Advertisements
Standard
Food, Multiculturalism

15 Fusion Restaurants, Their Cuisines, and Whether They Exist

Restaurant Name Cuisine 1 Cuisine 2 Does it exist yet?
The Crepes of Bath French British No!
Wontonamo Bay Chinese Cuban Yes, in Colorado!
Cous-Cuzco Moroccan Peruvian No!
Parthenaan Greek Indian No!
Taco Belle Mexican Plantation No, but it’s some girl’s Twitter!
Kebab Marley’s Middle Eastern Jamaican Yes, it’s a bar in the Philippines!
Palestein Palestinian Israeli No!
99 Fry Bread Balloons Native American German No!
Pastafarian Italian Jamaican No, but it’s a satirical religion!
Much Adobo About Notodden Filipino Norwegian No!
Khat Focaccia Tongue? Yemeni Italian No!
Phở British Pies Only Vietnamese British No!
Gills Just Want to Have Fondue Water Worldian Swiss No!
Where There’s a Wiener, There’s a Deep Fried Guinea Pig Austrian Ecuadorean No!
KFC-Pizza Hut American Italian Yes, at a location near you!

HTML Tables

Standard
Lou Bega, Probably Lyrics

Mambos No. 1, 2, 3, & 4

Found in Lou Bega’s Fort Lauderdale residence upon its recent foreclosure.

Mambo No. 1 (Lou Bega, June 1997)

Ladies and gentlemen, this is mambo number one!

One, two, three four, five, that’s how many kids Monica and I are gonna have so come on let’s ride!

The whole amount of Monica’s who I need

The whole amount of Monica all for me

The whole amount of Monica is my gal

The whole amount of Monica’s magiCAL

The whole amount of Monica’s love is true

The whole amount of Monica I WUB YOU

The whole amount of Monica in my life

The whole amount of me wants you as wife

Continue reading

Standard
Probably Lyrics

A Bad Typist Transcribes the Lyrics to Skinny Love Without Pausing

Skinny Love by Bon Iver (or Birdy but this time, Bon Iver)

———

Guitar getting LOUDER 

Squee sound

Come on skinny love just last the year

Pour a little slt we were bnever heeer

My my ym my ym yMY my my my my

Staring at the sinkof blood and crushed veneer

Told my love to wreck it all

Gut out all the roads and let me faaaall

My my ym ymy mMY my my my

Right in the moment this art is tall

And I told you to be patient and I told you to be fine and I told you to be balance an d I told you to be kind \and in th morning Ill be with and it will be a difdernt time and youll be holing all the ticket s and ill be holding all the fines

Come on skinny love what hpappend here

Suckle on the hope I like brassieres

My my mymy my my MY my my

someone knows fruit so slow on the spit

And I told you to be patient and I told you to be fien and I told you to be bailiff and I told you to be kinf and now all your live is asted and now who the hell was I and im breeakin at the breaches an dth endo f all your lies

Who will love you who will fight who will falllll far behind

Vague yodeling woop

Standard
News

Bean Fogs Up in Rain, Chicago Tourists Have Nothing to Take Pictures in Front Of

by Willie Myers

MILLENNIUM PARK – After an unexpected thunderstorm left Chicago’s famous Cloud Gate (nicknamed The Bean) “all fogged up” this morning, tens of visitors to the usually shiny public sculpture were left worried, confused, and a little damp.

The "Bean" at 11:37 AM today.

The tragic state of the “Bean” at 11:37 AM.

“I can’t even see myself, it’s so foggy,” said Caroline Brennan of Bimidji, Minnesota, “If I can’t take a picture of my reflection on The Bean, how are my Facebook friends ever going to know I was in Chicago?”

This lack of clarity in both immediate travel plans and Bean sheen was echoed by many of the more than fifty sightseers who braved today’s minor thunderstorm at Millennium Park.

Nebraska native Hank Murphy and his family of four said they “tried so hard to wipe the dew away” but gave up after several stressful minutes. The family decided instead to “go to Navy Pier or something, I guess.” According to Koreamerica Travel Company, their daily city tour was canceled entirely, citing “cannot Bean picture” as the reason.

The upsetting repercussions of this seemingly average rainstorm have led many to fear that a fog-up of this magnitude may happen again. In response to several accusations that global warming is to blame for what is increasingly being referred to as a “level-one vacation-ruiner,” local meteorologist Craig Daniels replied, “This is our Katrina.”

In the aftermath of this disaster, the city’s Department of Tourism issued a statement urging prospective Bean visitors to “just wait ten or fifteen minutes” if another fog-up occurs.

Standard